What is a Home to Children?

The Proposition

I believe to the children, a home is the place for them to share their:

1. Failures 
2. Fears 
3. Frustrations 
4. Grief 
5. Hurt 
6. Joy 
7. Rejections 
8. Worries 

 In other words, the emotions.

It is a place they can call haven where they can receive:

1. Acceptance 
2. Affirmation 
3. Assurance 
4. Confirmation 

In short, love.

The Home

Home is not a place of just doing homework and another venue of being told what they have not done right. It is not to be THE breeding ground for rats; to prepare for the senseless rat race.

Home is a place where they can be themselves and find acceptance regardless of their performance. 

How then to teach children right from wrong?

How about presenting the right thing to do as an option and then ask them what they think. In this way, I teach the children how to make decision with a basis and a rationale. This is teaching them how to be reasonable. 

Let the children fully express themselves before presenting any opinions. By so doing, I am letting them know that their opinion matters and are respected. I am validating their emotions and not negating them. It is alright to feel how they feel. 

Perception

They feel how they are feeling because of how they have perceived things. Any error lies not in the emotions but in the perception. I correct not their emotions but their perceptions. When the perceptions are right, the proper emotions follow. 

This is changing one's mind or Metanoia in Greek. 

An example: When you believe you have been cheated, do you not feel angry? It is alright to feel angry when cheated. But when you later found out that it was only a misunderstanding, you don't feel angry anymore. 

 It is a matter of perception. 

 The Danger

The danger of negating the emotions of children without addressing the source of the emotions lies in making them feel that being emotional is wrong. Common' all human beings have been created to have emotions! Why should children be any different?

Grace Parenting

By validating their emotions, I make them feel respected and valued. When children feel that, then they will be able to give the same to others. Hence, showing them respect is actually teaching them respect; and making them feel valued is teaching them how to treat people right.

 In the same connection, letting children voice their opinions is also a good way to build up their confidence in expressing themselves.

I think this is one life skill that was lacking in children of my era but increasingly prevalent in children of the 21st century (in Singapore).


Food For Thought

Would my children call their house a home?
Would they be able to find at least one of their parents to share and to receive?

But what about the bread and butter issue? 

The Lord is my Shepherd and I shall not lack [Psalm 23:1].

For I know the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ in that though He was so very rich, yet for my sake He became so very poor so that by His poverty I might become abundantly supplied [2 Corinthians 8:9]

If God did not even spare his only Beloved Son [Jesus the Christ] in Whom His soul delights, how shall He not also together with Him [Jesus the Christ} freely and graciously give me all things? [Romans 8:32]

Therefore, seek me first Jesus the Christ and all the things I need will be added to me [Matthew 6:33].

For all the promises of God are Yes and Amen in Christ Jesus. [2 Corinthians 2:20]

Do that one thing needful; sit at Jesus' feet and listen to His teaching [Luke 10:38-42].

May the Lord bestow me with the gift of faith to do this [Romans 12:3] and to know Jesus Christ and Him crucified [1 Corinthians 2:2].

Repentance
These thoughts have been inspired by the word repentance.

 "Repentance, as it relates to Christ, means to change our minds about Him, who He is and what He's done to provide forgiveness, and deliverance from our sins. When we place faith in Jesus as having taken our place personally on the cross and borne the penalty due our sins, then we're automatically repenting, because we couldn't accept Him in this way without having to change or minds in some way concerning Him." (From the Liberation of the Planet Earth, by Hal Lindsey. (p. 133).

Believing in Jesus from Nazareth as the Christ or Messiah is an act of faith . This is because it involves no longer thinking of Him as merely the carpentor's son of Nazareth but receiving Him as both Lord (Jehovah) and Messiah. This is repenatnce (Metanoia or change one's mind) about Jesus of Nazaraeth being the Christ and not just a human being.